Blown Away

158 children died of gun violence in Oakland during the time period that one boy passed from kindergarten to high school
10 times that many, roughly 1500, had been wounded and seriously injured in the same years

I only heard the last few lines of the piece on NPR this morning
But it took me back to East Baltimore in the 1990s
Going to elementary schools and middle schools
Under the auspices of teaching about health
As a pediatrician
Every kid I met there had witnessed a shooting or knew someone who had been killed
Not died of a heart attack or diabetes or breast cancer or being an old grandpa
Shot
In their neighborhood
Every night gunshots rang out
Every day someone else whose name they knew was dead
The kids watched
Or were caught in the crossfire

Rushed to our emergency room
Level 1 pediatric trauma center
Blown away
School kids
At best, perhaps an organ donor
So another wailing mother could have the tiniest prayer that some meaning came of this horror
But even then it didn’t feel true
Blown away
Families
Blown away
I remain

Level 1 pediatric trauma
In the schools every time I visited
Not giggling about puberty and pimples
But recounting stories of street corners
They knew
They saw
So much
To bear
Bearing witness
I thought that was supposed to be a religious term
Standing up for what is good and holy and of God
Witnesses
Unable to sleep at night

I should be sleeping now
I worked overnight last night in the intensive care unit
Taking care of the babies

But I cannot sleep today
Not after NPR told me too much this morning on my way home

158 children from Oakland died of gun violence while one boy grew from kindergarten to high school and 10 times more were seriously injured
And last night Baltimore was on fire
Burning with rage
Riots, fires, looting
Why did a young man die in police custody?
This is not 1967
This is not my father as an 18 year old with a crewcut in the National Guard watching scared as Baltimore and Wilmington burned
This is 2015
‘Why did we not stop the riots more quickly?’ replied the police chief. ‘Because it was high school students- it was 14, 15, and 16 year olds out there.’
Blown away
Level 1 pediatric trauma

“Today the Baltimore City schools are open again” the byline reads.
In the schools
Stories of survival
Not Percy Jackson or Harry Potter
Baltimore’s own Hunger Games
Who can escape the Maze?
Witnesses
Unable to sleep at night

How can I sleep?
Who is taking care of the children?

She’s an Oakland commuter
Listening to NPR on the way home
Nurse practitioner
Mother
What if every driver on congested 880 engaged like she does
In an Oakland school?
Setting up a walkathon
Coaching soccer
Founding a cycling team for city high school kids
Oakland Composite
Blown away
By bikes not bullets

Offspring of Oakland
Medical Director
Mother
Community leader
“All I’ve ever wanted to do since I was a little girl is to make things better,” she said
It was in a vulnerable moment,
When passion and vision were underappreciated by her colleagues
She doesn’t realize she is a beacon every day
Taking care of the children
All our children
All of us
With grace and humor

To you grown child of Oakland
I bear witness

This poem is in process of being published in the Pegasus Anthology of Physician Poetry. Link

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Dr. Gail Wright, MD | Blown Away

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Blown Away

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